Diary of a Scholar- Proseminar/First Week of Classes Fall 2012

It's the first week of class and yesterday I went to Proseminar. A course designed for first year doctoral students that my entire cohort is required to take.  I'm thrilled and terrified at the same damn time. We begin with pleasantries, the who-you-are and where-you're-from song and dance performed by all professors and students on the first day of class. The discussion expands to include goals, aspirations and expectations for the course, the community and our esteemed professor. It's a good time. I don't remember exactly when anxiety whispered it's breathy panic into the ears of my subconscious but by the time the syllabi were distributed I had already turned to a blank page in my notebook and penned a quick prayer.

After we reviewed the course schedule and assignments I was just about wheezing while thinking to myself  "I wonder what it would take to get my old job back?" "Who told me I was smart enough to do this?" "Am I the only slacker in here doubting herself?" 

Turn to your neighbor and say "Rigor". Ish just got real.  I'm staring down the barrel of some INTENSE work and I wonder if I have what it takes.  I'm scared out my skull box but in the spirit of seeing the glass as half full, I have to say that if I have to do this now I wouldn't want to do it anywhere else.   My professors and my peers are brilliant and brown, just like me.  My advisor is well known, largely cited and frankly, a beast whose scholarship is respected throughout the field.  She and I  can discuss grounded theory, methodology, recipes and healthy hair care.  I feel like  I can be myself  with her.  I feel like she requires  that of me.  She respects me, my previous experiences and how they shape and frame my perspectives.  She endorses my ambition, acknowledges my potential and has expressed a genuine desire to learn and collaborate WITH me.  This is what the game's been missing.  I blink and find myself in the nurturing and empowering collegial community that I prayed for.  Look at God! It's not going to easy but I truly feel that it's going to be worth it. Look at me. 

So although my hands are shaking and every part of me wants to pack my sh*t and run back to Harlem. And even though my mind is racing as I navigate this new space, I'm open to this experience and all that it has to offer. I await every challenge, every victory, every struggle, and every triumph with anticipation and faith to believe that where God guides, He provides. I don't know what the hell I'm doing but I'm ready to do and learn and grow. And in that order. 

This wasn't the plan.  I never thought I'd have to travel all around the mulberry bush to get to this point but I've learned that after you pray for something, the how ain't really your business anymore.  We are just supposed to do what we can while we can.  That being said, I've got homework.  This made me feel better.  I'll check in next week. 

Happy First Week of Classes, 

Keia 

Diary of a Scholar Entry #18- Packin up and moving out! #TeamTERP

I know, I know I’ve been MIA for a while.  I haven’t posted in months but life has been changing and I’m just trying to keep up.  I can’t give any excuse for my absence.  Just know that I’m a person in process my damb self and I can be of no assistance or benefit to others if my life is in shambles.   I took some time to process the transitions of life and now I’m back to tell you all about them. 

First things first, HEY and many congratulations to students of every level for completing another academic year.  At this point, we should be close to finishing or completely finished with our coursework and looking forward to the next stage of our educational journeys.  I am elated to leave Teachers College, Columbia University behind with another graduate degree in HAND.  It’s been a super challenging journey but Mama I made it! \o/ A very special shoutout  to the Class of 2012. You did your thing. Woot! Woot!

In the last post I told you all that I bit the bullet and applied to funded PhD programs.  The whole working full time while going to school full time brought nothing but stress, strain and weight gain and I, most certainly, ain’t got no time fa dat!  (Word to Sweet Brown.). The application process was challenging but rewarding.  I fielded some great offers, participated in preview programs and finally came to a decision. On April 15^th I officially became a Terrapin. In the fall, I will join the College of Education  at the University of Maryland College Park as a student in the Higher Education Ph.d. Program.  Yep, your girl is a TERP! Who. Mad?!?  Lol.  No seriously, I am extraordinarily blessed that the Lord has opened yet another door.  I’m growing closer to realizing that D. r.  Period. Prefix.  He gets all the Glory.  He did this and I’m just glad to take the ride.

Photo Courtesy of http://retroprom.files.wordpress.com

So yea.. I’m packing up my little belongings and leaving my beloved apartment in Harlem. I love it here but studying at UMD is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I’d be a donkey to pass up.   At this point I’m still in the process of finding a place and finalizing my move.  Things are still a bit up in the air right now but I do know that I’ll be in Maryland permanently on July 1^st.  I start work on August 13^th and classes jump off soon after that.  I’d be a hot lie if I said I wasn’t in my nerves about this move but I have faith that all will work out.  Expect plenty of blogs documenting this journey.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.  I’ve never lived outside of New York and I have no earthly idea how to move your life from one state to the next but, I’m excited to learn along the way.  And don’t worry, I’ll be taking you  all  with me each and every uncertain step of the  way.  Over the next few weeks I will be posting our usual content with a healthy side of my colorful commentary.  Please be patient.  It may take me a while to get back in the rhythm of posting daily but you will hear from me more often than not.   I’ve missed you all and will be back to business as usual very very soon.   In the mean time, you can always find my random musings and expositions on Twitter @NothinButTreble. My timeline is a very interesting place.   Get you a piece!  I’m equal  parts credentials, coonery, and cosmopolitanise and always down for good conversation, so never hesitate to deposit your two cents.