Diary of A Scholar in Training - Personal Blog #16- Sometimes plans just change..

Y’all know I always come through here and tell the trewf! I try my best to keep it funky about the ups and down , ins and outs of this PhD chase. These streets can get cold. Sometimes things don’t work out like you think they will and you have to take a step back and regroup.  Last semester, I found myself in this place and I was embarrassed.  Here I am on my virtual soap box allegedly helping students navigate college and graduate school and my own academic life was in shambles.  I’m finally comfortable enough to tell the story.  Like to hear it? Here it go.

Ok so I got rejected.  AIn’t no cute way to say it.  The doctoral program here at TC told me they would not be able to offer me admission after completing my first 60 credits .  So I could get this good Ed.M but if I wanted a doctorate I’d have to get it elsewhere.  The structure of the department was changing and as a result some of us were not going to be permitted to continue on, plain and simple.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  My feelings were hurt and my face had been handed to me.  I’ve been disappointed before; rejected, dumped , ignored in other areas of my slife but school has always been what I have gotten right. I’ve never had any major hiccups or bumps in the road when it came to  my education.  To be flat out rejected was something I couldn’t fathom. But after some tears, a bit of pouting and a few trips to Popeyes .. I prayed about it and God started showing off.  Long story short, I started hearing from classmates, colleagues, mentors and friends. All of them encouraged me,  lifted me up  and told me that no matter how I felt I, God is in control.  He makes no mistakes.  I then considered the possibility that this rejection didn’t have shoot all of my dreams to hell.   It could very well be protecting me from years of distress.  There are other schools, other programs, other opportunities, and being Columbia saying no could very well be setting the stage for a bigger and better YES.   This just means that God has something better for the kid. 

So this summer I made it my business to start afresh! I took the summer to research other programs and make some  serious moves toward realizing my dream.  Delayed but not denied, right?  I took the time to really think about my goals and what would be required of me to realize them. I stepped out my box and decided to take some risks and here I am ready to make some changes.  I’ve decided to take this as an opportunity to pursue a full time funded PhD program and just bang it out.  Being a full time administrator and part time graduate student has been fun but I. AM. TIRED.  I’ve learned that when you push too hard you risk burn out and who has time for that.  A sacrifice needs to be made.    I figure if I forego 2-4 years of professional experience and just get the degree now I’ll be better positioned to excel in the long run.  I’ve got the experience, now I need the credentials to ultimately make the moves that need to be made.  The black bottom line is, you’ve got to be in the game to change the game and the letters behind your name make all the difference.  That’s just the way it is.  And it’s not like I have a husband and some children to hem me up in responsibility.  So lets go  y’all. Lol

So  now I’m studying for the GRE,( which I have to retake in a couple weeks PLEASE PRAY MY STRENGTH) and applying to PhD programs here, there and everywhere.  This explains the lull in blog postings as of late. I beg your pardon but I promise if you just continue to be patient with the kid , we’ll be back on schedule within the next month or so.  I’ll keep you all posted of my progress.  I’m excited. I know great thing a come! Take this ride with me, there really is no telling where we’ll end up.  J

To wrap it up, the moral of the story is sometimes the plans you make can be changed by things that are beyond your control.  If/when this happens it’s important to remember that  you can’t fall apart.  You just regroup and get busy finding the next best route to your dreams, ya dig?.  I’ve always asked God to guide my feet and He always has.  I have to learn to trust HIM even when he changes my plans.  The fact of the matter is His plans are always better than mine anyway. I’ve been seeking his guidance through this whole process and quite frankly I’m excited.    Can’t stop won’t stop. Keep it here for future developments. I’ll always keep you posted.  Thanks for you patience and all of your support. 

I'm Back And Things of That Nature

I know it’s been a minute, but I’ve been all over. The last couple of weeks have just been chaos, but I made it through with a smile on my face and a battery in my back. I’m inspired, to keep It pushin.

I’ll keep it funky, I just lost some steam. School is ever hectic, work has gotten real and juggling family and personal responsibilities amongst all of the other stuff wore me thin.  It made me feel like, #1  I can’t keep my life together how the hell am I in any position to  have a blog? And #2 is anybody really reading this ish anyway?

I’ve had to do some traveling for work and I also caught up with some fam in NC for the Easter holiday so I’ve had some time to reflect. I was also privileged to attend and participate in some professional conferences. I’ll post more details about the conferences later but both were designed, to celebrate, support and encourage minority students pursuing careers in the sciences, technology, engineering, math and other licensed professions. Being among so many high school and undergraduate students reminded me of the real reason I started this blog. I may never be as famous as Natasha at the TheYBF, Miss Jia, Sam from ThatGrapeJuice. But, The GlamNERDS is my little way of proving that hard work; persistence and ambition will pay off. This is for me, if nobody reads it, I’m chronicling my journey, my experiences, my lessons learned, the information that I’m given because that’s what I’m supposed to do. One of my mentors, always says to whom much is given, much is required. And if only 15 people read my corny posts on financial aid and class scheduling and benefit from it, then it’s worth it. It’s also for me. This holds me accountable when I want to quit. The support I receive from my friends, fellow bloggers and YouTubers, my twamily is something that always makes me smile. I’m not going anywhere. When things get hectic, I may need to take some time to get my bearings but please bear with me.  To quote Oprah Winfrey/Vanzant, (My God Mommy in my Head lol) I am a woman in process each day I’m growing, God is not through with me yet!

Tykeia